I think most people don’t realize just how psychological of a practice yoga is. And I don’t mean examining your fear of going upside down for handstand, or finding out what emotion is blocking your twists.
I mean, in order to really practice yoga we always have to be examining and working with ourselves – every day, in every part of our lives. This can seem exhausting and tedious (yet another piece of our psychology to examine!) but I believe it is the lifeblood of any true practice.
I got really irritated with my partner this week. He called me out on a behavior I’ve been exhibiting and he did it in a way that reminded me of my mother (doom!) and of course I immediately hated him for it, even though I could also immediately see that he was 100% correct. Furthermore, I knew for a fact he wasn’t trying to be mean to me, but I felt that he was. I spent two days grappling with this. What finally resolved it? A Kundalini meditation.
I chose the meditation out of desperation, basically. I couldn’t reason my way out of the thicket and even doing my mental screams and leaning into the anger had no effect, the problem just went on and on. I was a mess. And when I feel that bottomlessness only two things work, talking to my well-seasoned therapist (who is now very retired and traveling) or going deep into my yoga practice for the answer.
The meditation I chose was specifically for anger. I just wanted to be able to calm down. And, as Kundalini inevitably does, the 11 minutes of the meditation revealed to me something deeper and so much more precise than I could ever have imagined. Not only did the acute anger shake out, I almost instantly knew exactly what the seed of it was, and could start to work with it right away. I am looking forward to the next 38 days as I continue the full span of the meditation.
Yoga is a powerful practice when we are willing to honestly self-examine (even if we’re reluctant at first). What meditation will you choose today?